Panic! There’s only 107 days to go to the World Cup and right now is when you should be stocking up on a lot of essential food and kit. First you’ve got to ensure the TV is the best you can get. Depending on how confident you feel about your team, you may want to fork out for an HD ready flat screen that takes up half the living room. Don’t stint yourself, the tournament is only every four years, a lot can happen in four years.

You can never plan too early to get the beers in; the supermarkets none too subtly inflate the prices as the competition draws closer, then they pretend they’re actually selling it cheaper. Now is the time to load up with your favorite brand , or look out for some specials.

The beer will sit there happily in your garage or cellar till the World Cup is with us. A couple of days before kick-off, get those brewski’s into the fridge. If you decide it’s worth investing in a separate fridge even better. England plays USA on June 12^th, so you’ll want an uninterrupted supply on that day.

Now what about the couch – you could be viewing at some very unusual hours so it needs to be comfortable enough to lie on without actually falling asleep.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, you need your consolation purchase. Let’s face it, there is, in all likelihood, going to be a time when your team is eliminated. Penalties or no penalties.

If and when you lose, you’re going to need the powerfully soothing strokes of the Autoblow Blast to blow your blues away. The Autoblow Blast is the world’s first fully automatic blowjob machine, and the official blowjob machine of the 2010 World Cup. It’ll blow you a lot more skilfully and fairly than the referee blows his whistle. What’s more, your Autoblow will keep going for the full 90 minutes if you want it to, as fast or slow as you can take it, right up until the moment you shoot for goal.

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Donatien Alphonse François comte de Sade, better known as the infamous Marquis de Sade, was born into privileged French nobility in 1740. Educated by Jesuit monks, who at the time, believed that daily whippings should be part and parcel of a boy’s upbringing, the ritual punishment and humiliation had a lasting effect on the Marquis.

After returning from France’s last great war with Britain, he embarked upon a series of scandalous affairs in Paris. By 1763 he was placed in an arranged marriage, but this did absolutely nothing to curtail him from a life of full throttle debauchery and sexual experimentation. One particular incident, which involved abusing religious icons and stuffing communion hosts into the pussy of one of his conquests, landed him in jail.

Released after a few months, he traveled abroad and indulged in a series of perverted orgies. However, soon tiring of life abroad, he returned to France, and with his loyal wife’s blessing, arranged for six servant girls to work at their manor throughout the winter. Here the girls were subjected to a lengthy series of daily humiliations including enforced whippings, bondage, fellatio, sodomy, and much more. When the parents of the girls did not hear from them for many months they tried to make contact, and de Sade despatched the girls to various safe houses and convents.

With the authorities earnestly seeking to imprison him again, he went on the run, but still managed to engage a priest in procuring for him innocent young girls for a fresh round of degrading orgies. This time he was less lucky, and one of the fathers of an abused girl very nearly succeeded in shooting him. By now the game was up and de Sade was incarcerated long term in a series of filthy prisons where he was bound hand and foot.

Released and later re-imprisoned, his only escape was in erotic writings on dungeon walls. These covered the full gamut of sexual debauchery including bestiality, incest, necrophilia, latter day gangbangs and orgies, pederasty…the full lust inspired lexicon. If ever you think you are into some kinky stuff, rest assured, the Marquis would make you appear as normal as breathing. By the end of his days he was still scribbling highly lurid pornography on the walls of an insane asylum to which he had been sanctioned.

If only the errant Marquis had access to the Autoblow Blast, it could have quelled the dark forces that were raging within him and avoided decades of soul destroying imprisonment. The Autoblow Blast is a peaceful, non threatening solution to the lust that lurks within all men. It’s a fully automatic blowjob machine which requires nothing more of the user than the desire to lie back and be blown away by the powerful sensations of the authentic deep throat blowjob.  Just lube up, slip inside the soft silicone sleeve and let the beads ride you up and down to a full, Marquis size climax. Find out more at www.roboticblowjob.com

If you want to come with your big gun blazing, try these sensational masturbation toys with added bullets for extra vibratory thrills and spills. Each one of these incredible pussies is primed to please. Kinda makes your trigger finger itchy.

Aimee Sweet Cyberskin Pussy

This beautifully sculpted replica of Aimee Sweet’s delicious pussy is plump and tempting. Made from Cyberskin material, the most realistic material available, this pussy will give you the thrill of realistic pussy lips that you can penetrate at will. The vibrating bullet sits in the hole on the bottom side of the masturbator, which sends the vibrations traveling all the way through the material, straight to your aching cock.

Real Skin Latin Pussy and Ass

A plump and very pleasing piece of Latina ass with pouty, begging pussy lips and a perky puckered anus that just begs for your cock. Enjoy the big ass cheeks spread wide open waiting for you as you thrust. There’s a separate entry for the pussy and perky butt. Put the vibrating bullet in one of the holes in the end, turn it on, lube up your masturbation toy with a generous amount of water-based lube and ride wild and free. The vibrating bullet features 5 speeds so you can get just the right sensation you need. The bullet in the other hole allows your cock to glide with ease without coming into contact with the bullet.

Alexis Amore Vibrating Pocket Pussy and Ass

Soft and supple, this masturbator is made from Futurotic material, it’s as close as you’ll get to taking Alexis Amore in this lifetime! Two vibrating bullets are included with a multi-speed hand held controller. They are placed in the two holes in the back, and vibrate through the entire toy for your satisfaction. Remove the bullets and use them to tease yourself if you want a new sensation.
You can also put your fingers in the holes in the back to hold on to if you do not want to use the vibrating bullets.

Inari Vach Realistic Pussy

This realistic pussy stands out above the rest for its dual-density skin, which perfectly re-creates the sensations of a woman’s pubic bone. This adds stability and realism to your experience. This masturbation toy includes a vibrating bullet with a hole to stick it in adding amazing extra dimension to your pumping sessions. The specially designed shape fits perfectly in your hand and is so thick and sturdy, you won’t even feel your hand holding it on your cock.

Nicole’s Vibrating Ultra Realistic Pussy and Ass

Ultra realistic pussy molded from Nicole’s luscious folds and curves with amazing attention to detail. An exact replica of her size, shape and contours right down to her hand-painted sumptuously detailed rich pussy lips. Enhance the experience with the powerful, multi-speed, removable bullet that slips into the deep recessed pocket for optimal bullet placement.

Masturbation toys for men are getting better by the day, and new ones are constantly reaching the market. These jizz inducing masturbation toys provide powerful sensations afforded by soft and slippery ribbed interiors and inner suction chambers replete with beads and nubs. Here are five masturbation toys for men, which, when used with a dab of water based lube, are guaranteed to get a load off your mind fast and furious. Our selections are made based on several rave reviews from customers.

Captivator

A stretchy super satisfying textured sleeve with hundreds of nubs inside to tickle and tantalize. Its closed end design creates more suction as you pump it, but it easily turns inside out for easy cleaning.

Sex Bomb

Easy to travel with and even easier to clean and maintain, Sex Bomb is a no-fuss masturbation sleeve. Made of supple UR3 material that warms quickly, this stretchy sleeve will accommodate most men while still gripping you tightly. Realistic pussy style point of entry with nubs inside to add to the overall sensation.

Sapphire Seductress

The Sapphire Seductress can embrace you and sensuously suck you in through its yielding heart shaped point of entry. Once inside it grips and doesn’t want to let you go. You can easily control the right level of grip with its soft and squeezy exterior. Cleans up fast and has great reviews from a number of satisfied customers.

Senso Lover

A super stretchy silicone sleeve with a ribbed and textured interior for added sensations. The open ended design wraps around the cock to create an authentic blowjob sensation while in action. This one gets great reviews on several websites.

Triple Header

Made from high quality TPR material, this stretchy masturbation sleeve was designed for those who love a bit of oral. Let the Triple Header’s lips caress you and pull you in to three secret suction chambers which will suck you deliciously dry.